germans - teacher

It was a most regal and cauldecraffe story that led to the formation of what is now called “Germans”. Imagine Snarey, The Sick Prince, looking down from His throne, framed on the wall of 8 Lippincott. What would He see? A tale of 5 noble Torontonian vandegards on a quest for His music. Not just any music, but the most cauldecraffe music around.

Billions Koper founded the quest, and set it in motion by contacting a well known vandegard by the name of Hunter-Hurst Taheny, who called upon Washington Foster, who in turn brought forth Livingston Fagan, and the notorious Zucchero Lappano. Five allies, each with a unique story; five distant paths, converging in the mists of Princeland.

Koper’s path yielded many twists and turns of the most boilin’ variety. After the ides of his youth, he studied to obtain a degree in Astrophysics and Mathematics, while supporting himself with a blossoming career as a sideshow-style contortionist and yo-yo master. His skills earned him an appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman, which led to a performance for the President of Singapore, and even to a small part in an upcoming movie starring Dustin Hoffman, Natalie Portman, and Jason Bateman (2007). A promising career was ahead, but the pull of the quest was too strong. Billions looked upon his wall, saw the regal glory of The Sick Prince, and knew what he had to do.

Taheny’s path was much different - more direct, yet somehow more tormullacke as well. In school, his music teacher thought he was a crack smoker, but really he was just Irish. His excellent drumming and guitar skills gave him opportunities in many bands, which in turn have led to an emerging career as a recording engineer and producer. He is best known for his work as producer of Final Fantasy, including the Polaris Music Prize winning album “He Poos Clouds”. He also recently produced the amazing upcoming Ohbijou release, “Swift Feet for Troubled Times”. The day Hunter-Hurst was brought to gaze upon the beauty of the Sick Prince, Snarey gazed back at him and saw a good man, most worthy of being His Subject.

Washington Foster, another loyal subject of The Prince, does also owe allegiance to his mentor, the man known as Wetty. Foster, a former art school student and world traveller has worked for years in Toronto’s film industry. He should be truly proud to know that he’s now “Livin’ on Wetty’s Block”, as they say.

Livingston Fagan and Zucchero Lappano are born citizens of Princeland, on shores of the Guelphland. Of course, their loyalty to Snarey is as instinctive as their need to be free, and to drink, and eat, and laugh. After Zucchero left his job at The Sports Hall of Fame, they formed their own Guild, Social Arts Club, and used this to found and perform in many exciting bands, such as We’re Marching On, and Bahai Cassette. Two loyal citizens, gazing towards the throne with pride! Clearly, these were the vandegards that were needed to complete the New Royal Guild of the Prince of the Homeland.

And finally, a man so like Snarey in His personal unrest, Sequoia Rozenberg. He received his true calling when his previous gang “Viking Club”, provoked a trial with rival faction “Germans Club”, and failed to compete. Sequoia, being the youngest, was the only man spared. He was handed the Snarey torch to help destroy his once beloved “Viking Club”, so that he might begin his new life as a loyal vandegard of Snarey.

Together, Germans have managed to write and record the most cauldecraffe album this side of Princeland. It will be called Cape Fear, and will be released by Arena Rock Recording Co. on February 13th 2007 in Canada, and March 17th 2007 in the US. The Arena Rock deal was a go when they received a letter of approval signed by Snarey Himself. Germans recorded Cape Fear in the summer of 2006, and licensed the album to Arena Rock in June. They will be touring Canada and the US, in spring 2007.

Glossary of Terms
Cauldecraffe
Billionaire slang meaning ‘cool’, ‘hip’, or ‘fashionable’.

Vandegard
Someone of a cauldecraffe nature (See cauldecraffe).

Tormullacke
Twisting and complicated.